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| 25 years ago, at about this time of year, while anxious over finishing my Ph.D, I found out that I had cancer and was finally at the end of my six cycles of chemotherapy. |
| The Last Treatment. I kept saying that phrase over and over to myself. My little game of counting my treatments by sixths would go from 5/6 to 6/6 = 1 overnight. I would be done. The last treatment was just like the others, same nausea and vomiting and same recover period, but it was also special in that if the drugs worked, I would never have to go through this ordeal again. I would start get better tomorrow. |
| February 10, 1988 was the day. I took the treatment, had my cab ride home to my apartment. The vomiting started right on schedule and lasted for the normal six hours. By this time I had learned to read my body, and I knew by the feeling in my stomach when the last violent regurgitation would occur. After this happened at about 2 AM the next morning, I had mixed feeling of elation (the worst is over, yay!) coupled to a sobering realization (this goal is done. My focus for 15 weeks is no more. I have to get on with my life.) I spontaneously began to cry. I am not sure if it was tears of joy, tears of fear, tear of pain, or just tears that were repressed through the ordeal. The cause was not important, the effect was cathartic releasing a large burden that I did not know I had. |
| I thought my life would excel after this. Nothing would bother me again. I had survived a bout with a killer disease. I swore I would never vomit again in my life. That lasted lasted about 10 years. If any obstacle got in my way, I could always say, "It is not as bad as chemo." Life in all its parts would be wonderful from now on. |
| If I had a time machine, I would go back and slap my 25 years younger and naïve self. This unrestrained optimism and rosy outlook was a fantasy. Having gone through cancer chemotherapy or other trying ordeal does not make life any easier. You do not become special due to your struggle. It does change you and your outlook, but I will write in another installment about getting on with my life and the challenges of being a cancer survivor. We are jumping ahead in the story. Did the treatments really work? Was I cancer free? What was my prognosis? |
| After my I recovered for a few weeks, I got a full examination including blood work, a chest X-ray, and most importantly, a follow up gallium scan. To remind you a gallium scan involves injecting a solution of gallium citrate into my bloodstream with the galliun being the radioactive isotope gallium-67. Gallium (element #31) is about the same size as iron, so where ever iron concentrates in the body (sites of infection, inflammation, or growing cancer tumors), the radioactive gallium would also concentrate. Gallium-67 gives off gamma rays which can expose a photographic plate. I have attached a copy of some details of my before and after gallium scans. If you can remember from way back, I stated that my before gallium scan showed a dark patch on my temple where my tumor was. If you blow up the picture and look at the before scan, you can see an extra spot marked by arrows. If you look at the after scan in the corresponding locations, there is no irregularity. The right and left sides of my head are symmetric. The actual films are much clearer, I will try to post photos of them. (Note: The clearer films are posted below.) The doctors are not sure what the spot on the before scan was, but it was clearly gone now. Hallelujah! |
| The type of cancer that I had is aggressive, and even though all cancers go by an arbitrary five year survival period, if this cancer was not back in two years, I could pretty much claim that I was cured. Add 23 years to that, I can say with confidence, I am cured. I hope and pray this continues. |
| One part of the story ends, but there was the rest of my life to live. Next up, writing a thesis with chemo brain. |
| Stay tuned for more of the story. |
| (Cancer Chronicles is a series of status updates that account the events of 25 years ago when I went through a bout with cancer. Its purposes are multi-fold: catharsis, education, information, celebration, etc. ) |
| This originally was posted to facebook December 7, 2012. |
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